ASTROPUPPA

Destroy all the asteroids and your self-esteem!!!
ASTROPUPPA will challenge you in a super colourful (it's black and white) 3D (not true, it's 2D) battle (part of the time) against asteroids and a lot of stupid space things and creatures!

Your goal is to get the "perfect run" and reach a score of 8888.
If you can't make it, it's because you kind of suck. Don't go saying "Ah, it's too hard!"
So please, if you die and get a game over, don't say the game is too punishing or whatever. It's because you S-U-C-K.

Game features:
- fourteen (13) levels with a ton of unpredictable stuff;
- audio FX made by the developer's own mouth;
- hand-drawn (more or less) Asteroids-style graphics;
- advanced instructions to become an ASTROPUPPA Jedi;
- lots of white pixels and even more, way way more, black pixels;
- brutally hard game mechanics to test how long you can last without getting mad and smashing your keyboard;
- hypocritical, completely useless elements for people with no human sensitivity at all;
- press random keys and maybe something will happen.

HINT 1: PAUSE KILLS!
HINT B: DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!
(it has nothing to do with the game, but don't drive after drinking anyway, even if it was just water)

Finally, if you can't win and you make a fool of yourself, don't leave a bad review. PUPPA again. It's a game that costs less than *** $200 ***, which is next to nothing for a rich person like you. It's not long: you just need to spend a few dozen minutes on it every now and then (for 20-30 years) to master it and reach the legendary score of 8888. If you can't make it, it's not the game's fault. So if you leave a bad review, it basically means you're a NOOB.