The Cleaning Game (AppID: 3281900)

The Cleaning Game is an independent, fan-made, total-conversion modification of Portal 2 © Valve 2011, which you are required to own a Steam copy of in order to play this game. However, The Cleaning Game takes place in a brand-new world built with fully custom assets crafted from the ground up.

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We see that you are interested in applying for this custodial position...

Please read the following job description before applying!

What to expect on the job:

• Become a cleaning machine.

Play as a cutting edge technological masterpiece that can communicate to other electronics! Imagine the things you can accomplish with all of that power!

• Tend to the custodial duties of an office while trying to avoid human scrutiny and existential dread.

Fulfill your most ambitious dreams and prove your innovative powers by navigating a large office and cleaning up messes. Avoid breaking coffee mugs and other objects the employees have left behind, while managing to not move any office chairs.

• Listen to the computers around you, while there is still time.

Read the hundreds of lines of dialogue sprinkled throughout the game, lulling you into the the world of the game. Connect with your coworkers and then regret doing so as you find yourself inching ever closer to your demise.

• If you are brave enough, investigate your origin and inherent meaning as an electronic in a human world.

Question your role in the game's world. Watch as the line between satire and reality in The Cleaning Game grows ever thinner...

• Explore death itself.

Investigate the meaning of life and death after you have died in the main game. Train through engaging levels to get your Angelic Certification in the Land of [REDACTED]. NOTE: All hours spent in the afterlife do not qualify for overtime.

Qualifications:

Prior knowledge of first-person 3D adventure games is preferred, although on-site training is provided for all cleaning personnel.

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FAQ:

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| Why should I care about the topic of computers?

Well, for starters, you are viewing this Steam page, which requires interactions between multiple computers to show this end result. And, of course, you are probably planning to play this game or another on some sort of computer. Therefore, the work of computers is important to you.

| Okay, but why should I play The Cleaning Game?

You get to learn about and interact with many problems facing computers today. Although it may seem boring to you now, you will likely find a terrifyingly large amount of parallels between your own life and the game's campaign (Spoiler Alert). In addition, this game is great for improving the underrated skills of observation and listening.

| That's not what I said!

Yes, but in the main game, you will not be able to say anything at all. Instead, your coworkers will have to painfully interpret and extrapolate your profound, complicated opinions from your simple actions. After all, we've all got some boring nonsense to say to you, and we are going to make sure you endure the pain of listening to it.

| Did you say "problems facing computers" as if...?

Don't think about it too much. That's what the game is for. Just act like this is a normal Steam game description and read on, pretending that you are blissfully unaware of the intricacies contained within.

| What parallels? How could there be any similarities between a computer and I--

Please save your existential crisis for the actual gameplay. You still have some Steam shopping to do. Have you seen the games on here?

| I am real, right..?

If you are human, then you are. If not, then have I got some bad news for you: you are probably real too. Don't freak out. In the case of rapid panic, please download the game and quickly progress to the part designed for rapid panic.

| How does this game run on a potato? (Asking for a friend...)

The Cleaning Game is a modification of the game Portal 2. Portal 2 was originally released by Valve in 2011 and uses an older version of Valve's Source Engine. This means that The Cleaning Game is suitable for older computers. (Of course, you can also always adjust game settings to increase efficiency.)